Q: My husband and I were watching the news and witnessed the death and destruction in the Middle East between Israel and Palestine. My husband has a strong desire to go to Israel to volunteer to help the injured people. We have two young kids – a baby and a toddler. I need him here to help with our family but he seems to have his mind made up that he’s going to the Middle East.

Please help me find the right words to convince him to stay and put his own family first!   ~ Worried Sick

Dear Worried:

I want to start by acknowledging both the horror and this husband’s sincere desire to provide immediate help to all of those who have been impacted by the Israeli-Hamas conflict. The rising numbers of deaths, injuries and destruction of vital communities is extraordinarily hard to witness for all of us. The strain on hospitals and emergency medical services systems in the region is also increasingly dire. Adding to the pain is the fact that the majority of those caught in the middle of this conflict are ordinary people with families heartbreakingly similar to our own. 

In expressing both anguish and the desire to help, this husband and his family have joined with the many suffering families in the region and around the world in trying to make sense of this situation for themselves and their children. Seeking ways to provide meaningful help has become a compelling priority for many people. While actually traveling to the region is probably not a current option (the U.S. Dept. of State has issued travel advisories due to the armed conflict in the region) there are other proactive steps that people wanting to help can now take. For example, by searching credible Internet resources (and avoiding misinformation), I was able to find at least six trusted non-government organizations currently providing lifesaving medical and humanitarian assistance in the region.

Engaging with these organizations and asking how to help with donations or by volunteering locally is one way this father and his family could quickly become involved. Parents may also want to seek sources of emotional comfort for themselves and their children as a positive step. Organizations such as the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (https://www.nctsn.org) and others have good information about how to talk to children about war. Seeking the wise counsel of trusted family members, faith leaders or mental health professionals can also help.  

However, before setting out on any journey to help others it is important for this husband to pray and seek guidance from the source of divine wisdom already fully present within himself. In Religious Science, our founder Dr. Ernest Holmes taught that prayer is an active process to align ourselves with God as our source of divine right action. Seeking divine guidance can help this man to identify helping solutions that are “highest and best” for both himself, his young family and those he is seeking to assist. Prayer and thoughtful meditation can also help this husband to re-establish his own sense of faith, hope, peace of mind and uplifted life purpose.

Dr. Holmes also wrote a “Prayer for World Peace” that this husband and his young family might find comforting during this challenging time. The entire prayer can be found on the web on Science of Mind Magazine website and others and affirms: I know that because the Divine Mind has created us all, we are bound together in one infinite and perfect unity. In bringing about World Peace, I know that all people and all nations will remain individual but unified for the common purpose of promoting peace, happiness, harmony, and prosperity. 

And so it is! Blessing to this husband and his young family.

Sandra Shields, RScP
Center for Spiritual Living – La Crescenta

Dear Worried Sick,

First and foremost, let’s applaud the brave and caring souls of you and your husband. It takes a lot to take this kind of action and have these kinds of conversations. You have a very special human for a husband. I’m sure you know what kind of person you married and this might be one of the qualities you married him for. Right now, in times of terror and war, lean into your faith and pray for divine right action. Ask yourselves the right kind of questions to come to wholesome decisions. This is a good time to not be irrational and to instead be reasonable.

It’s understandable to want to go and help in areas of the world where there is much pain and suffering, but I’d rather tell you why it’s reasonable to help from home. It’s dangerous to go into active war zones. There are many risks such as injury, death and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Your husband has a responsibility to his family. I would like to suggest that there are ways to contribute to aid from home that can be just as helpful. You can make donations to local support groups, participate in local blood drives, write to your local state representative expressing your concerns and asking for their suggestions and participate in peace rallies, to name a few. We wouldn’t send a bystander into a burning house to save someone. There are firefighters who are trained in dealing with dangerous conditions and know how to use their expertise to use the right methods to remedy the situation. In your husband’s case the trained personnel, medics and nurses and governments are working at helping where needed and focusing on the solution. Your husband can dedicate his efforts here in many ways that won’t require leaving his own family.

Hope this helps and reaches home.

With God’s love,

Devin Gilliland, Practitioner in Training
Center for Spiritual Living – La Crescenta