QUESTION: I inherited the “worry gene” from my mom. When I was living at home, she and I would worry about everything together. Now that I’m in my mid-30s and have two children, I don’t want to pass the “worry gene” on to them.

My husband knows that I grew up worrying, and together we decided we’d have a worry-free home, although I’m not quite there yet. He is great about coming up with viable solutions for our problems and coaches me when I get super upset. Do you have any suggestions about leaving behind worry once and for all? It’s important that we help our children trust God, which I have problems doing. 

~ Worry Wart



Dear Worry Wart,
Worry is one of those parts of our lives that, when modeled during our formative years, often becomes a strong part of our adult lives. We do seem to inherit a “worry gene” and then we begin to believe and live like it is a genetic precondition that we must fight against, rather than something we can overcome through trust. We find ourselves in a centripetal spin in which we begin to worry about our worrying, and then we worry about our worrying about our worrying, and so on.

But Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:25-34 (one of my favorite readings) that we are of great worth to God and that God is with us always. It reminds us that we are not to worry about tomorrow, even as we struggle with the what-ifs of life.

One of the ways that we are able work toward the lessening of worry is to become aware of the present moment. By focusing on the moment in which we exist, maybe by bringing attention to our breathing, we begin to reintegrate the energy we were using to worry toward supporting our focus. Scripture is full of lessons calling us to focus on our present moments and to put our lives into the hands of God (Phil 4:6-7, Matt 11:28-30, etc.). I invite you, and your family, to begin to exercise your “present-moment glasses.” When worry seems to be rising, I ask you to take a moment and just bring your awareness to what is happening at the present moment – listen for the birds singing in the trees, see the smiles on the faces of your children, feel the softness of a favorite blanket or the warmth of your husband’s hand. Let yourself just pay attention to the many gifts that God has showered into your life and be thankful.

If you would like to continue to explore ways in which to work toward lessening worry in your life, I invite you to read the book “Gratitude” by Diana Butler Bass. By changing our attention from worry toward gratitude we become more aware of our blessings and our trust grows in the God who calls us beloved.
In gratitude,

Pastor Scott Peterson
pastor@lcifoothills.org

Dear Worry Wart,
We must be “daughters from different mothers!” I, too, inherited the worry gene from my mom. It’s very powerful and pervasive, but it can also be eradicated!

Leo Buscaglia, a past USC professor, has a great quote about worry: “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” I keep this quote visible so I can remind myself to “snap out of it” when I find myself spiraling in worrisome thoughts.

Worry can motivate us to make positive changes to assure the worst doesn’t come to pass. But when you get stuck in the “worry loop” you can to turn to God to help you move forward. And when I say “God,” as a minister of Science of Mind, we believe that the Christ consciousness is within all of us.

Ernest Holmes, founder of Science of Mind, said, “All that life is and has is fully given to you to enjoy.” Joy is what we are here to experience and share with each other. When we worry and ruminate about our problems, we are sapping ourselves “joyless.”

As a parent, we not only want to share the joy of living with our children, but we need to teach them how to enjoy life – no matter what is going on around us! There are many spiritual practices that can assist you in letting worry go. But the first – and easiest – is to decide right now that you are done with worrying.

Then practice positive affirmations, such as, “I release all worry and doubt and bask in the joy of living.” Take time every day to release your worries through journaling, expressing gratitude for all the little things and spending time doing things you enjoy with your family.

Life is meant to enjoy! There will always be things we could worry about. But the choice is ours to decide to live in love, peace and harmony instead of fear, worry and doubt. Decide today to replace worry with faith.

There are many beautiful passages in the Bible on putting your faith in God to release worry. I’ll close with this short excerpt from Psalm 56: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
You got this!

Sending love and light,

Rev. Ellen Faith Contente
revellenfaith@gmail.com

QUESTIONS: Several of my friends and I are having a discussion. I say pets go to heaven. We’re evenly split – three of us believe pets go to heaven and three do not think so. I hope so, because my pets have all been like family and I loved every one of them (three dogs and two cats).

What do you believe?
~ Pet Lover

Dear Pet Lover,
It is so hard for us, standing as we do on Earth, to know just exactly what heaven is like.

Firstly, I can tell from your letter that you do believe there is a heaven or an afterlife and that you will be there. I happen to agree with you.

Over my life, I have been privileged to have very close relationships with four dogs. Each of them was different in personality and character. Each of them looked into my eyes and had their own way of communicating their needs and their love, their pleasure or distain.

I have no doubt that the same rules, if you will, apply in heaven to both pets and their human families. I hope the ones who are in my spiritual family will be there when I get there.

Oh yes, and Please God, I hope there is a wondrous place to swim, too!

Blessed is God’s name. Baruch HaShem.

Rabbi Janet Bieber
jbieber1155@aol.com

Dear Pet Lover,
Why couldn’t you have asked an easier question? You know, opinions have been all over the place on this topic for the last 2,000 years. Maybe that’s why preachers and teachers usually just quote others who have gone before when answering this question. With that in mind, one of my favorite writers, Randy Alcorn, has said this on this controversial subject:

“Elijah was taken up to heaven in a chariot pulled by horses (2 Kings). We’re told there are horses in heaven (Revelation 6, 19). In fact, there are lots of horses, enough for the vast armies of heaven to ride. Other animals aren’t mentioned in the Revelation passages … But isn’t it likely that since there are innumerable horses in heaven there are all kinds of other animals too? Why wouldn’t there be? Why would we expect horses to be the only animals? … Scripture tells us elsewhere, however, that man has an eternal soul. It tells us he goes to one of two places at death. Animals are not said to have eternal souls. They are not said to relocate when they die. The presumption would be that at death they cease to exist. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that beloved animals won’t be in heaven. I once read Billy Graham’s response to a little girl’s question, ‘Will my dog who died this week be in heaven?’ Graham replied, ‘If it would make you any happier, then yes, he will be.’ Animals aren’t nearly as valuable as people, but God is their maker and has touched many people’s lives through them. It would be simple for Him to recreate a pet in heaven. I see no reason to believe he wouldn’t if it would bring his children pleasure.”

Like the little girl, you’ve gone a step further than animals. You’ve mentioned pets. I don’t pretend to have the definitive answer on this ongoing controversy about our pets but, as I ponder this subject, thinking of you, something related comes to mind. I wonder if you’ll indulge me for a moment.

Jesus talked about the hereafter, heaven and hell, more than anybody. He never mentioned our pets in heaven but he did mention both ourselves and our relatives. He tells a rather gripping short story of a rich man who, sadly, did not go to heaven and a poor man named Lazarus, who did and was at Abraham’s side. The point of the story in Luke 16 is the dialogue back and forth, from hell to heaven and back again. It cuts through our niceties and instead gives us eternity’s nuts and bolts. What surprises me every time I read this story by Jesus is the unclouded and passionate view of the afterlife by the rich man who is in torment. He only cares about two things: He wants water and he does not want his five brothers to join him.

I confess that, when I think about heaven, this is what I think about: I have three younger brothers. I believe I’m going to heaven. Am I sure about that? How do I know? Am I sure my brothers will join me? If the rich man from Luke 16 could come back and talk to his brothers, what would he say? What should I say now to mine? And what about extended family, other relatives? And why did the loving Lord Jesus tell this alarming story and what does he want me to get from it? (You might expect this kind of mindset from a minister!)

Back to pets. I’ve had a long parade of wonderful pets in my life, mostly dogs. I have enjoyed them fully but I confess that when it comes to the afterlife, I’m preoccupied with people.

Rev. Jon T. Karn
pastorjon@lightonthecorner.org