Remembering Dad, Recognizing Daughter

They called him Big Ray and for good reason. He stood an impressive 6 foot, 5 inches tall on a large frame; my dad was a big man. As a child he would hold my little hand in his massive paw or carry me way up in the sky on his strong shoulders and I realized that he wasn’t like any of the other fathers. He was a big deal.

Dad (Ray Martin) grew up post-war in the San Fernando Valley with his two brothers and one sister. His dad Harold, who walked with a cane after polio, became a successful entrepreneur despite his handicap when he started his first business, a gasoline station on Rodeo Drive catering to the rich and famous. This allowed Ray to attend the University of Southern California to obtain his teaching credential and where he also competed with the USC track and field team. He had always loved sports growing up and was good at them.  

Dad’s size gave him an advantage and he became skilled in the discus throw and shot put. The SC team competed all over the country and my dad came home with many medals.  

One of the stories he liked to share was about that time during a particular event called “The Big D” in Dallas in 1956. He explained that back then, the Civil Rights Movement hadn’t yet taken hold in Texas and that the state still had separate drinking fountains labeled “For Whites” and “For Coloreds.” He said the California team was so appalled by this that, one by one, they lined up to take drinks out of the “non-white” fountain, almost taunting onlookers to challenge the fit group of young men. Though Dad won a medal during that competition he was most proud that his team stood strong in support of black rights. 

Dad was in contention for the Olympic Games that year, but sadly had to drop out when he broke his ankle while messing around on the track jumping hurdles. Ultimately, he became a well-respected teacher and track coach at Glendale and Daily high schools. Being a teacher meant everything to him.

Our daughter Delaney never knew any of this growing up as her grandfather had already retired and moved to other states by then. She rarely saw him but somehow she caught the sports bug from him. At age 9, she begged us to allow her to take gymnastics classes and went on to compete through her teen years, just like her grandfather. She loved it so much she became a gymnastics coach while shifting her own sport to cheerleading in high school and college. She ultimately joined the cheer team at California State University, Northridge where she cheered during games and was on the competition team that traveled to Daytona, Florida.  

Because of Delaney’s 6 foot, 1 inch frame, she had an advantage in the “back spot” position and was quite skilled. She enjoyed all aspects of the sport, especially stunting.

In May, Delaney graduated from college and had to retire from the cheerleading team – a bittersweet moment for her. She earned her bachelor’s degree in criminology and justice studies and I have no doubt that she will be successful in her career – just like her grandfather and great-grandfather before her. As a reward for her accomplishment, I gave her the medal that my dad received in Dallas with “The Big D” on it and shared his story again. You see, we called her “Big D” growing up because she was so tall. It seemed fitting to pass on the medal.  

Now that Big Ray is no longer here, I know that as a proud papa he will be guiding Delaney as she finds her place in this world, as well as watching the USC football games from afar.  

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Congratulations, sweet girl.

Susan Bolan
susanbolan710@gmail.com