Letter to my 10-Year-Old Self

Dear Susie, What a life we have lived! I can’t believe I’ve almost made it to retirement age.  You can’t see it now but the whole world is right in front of you and you’re going to have quite a journey getting here. You have already started hanging out with friends, playing in the street and exploring the Tujunga Wash. The relationships you develop with those kids will last a lifetime and become the foundation for all future relationships. Have fun, be kind and take turns. You will come to cherish your childhood memories.

Our siblings may not always treat you, the youngest child, very well. It’s not personal; it’s just the family dynamic and their personalities. Understand that they love you more than they can express. Assert yourself and stand up for fairness. Our parents are doing the best they can based on when and how they were raised.

Every experience you have will teach you something, especially the embarrassing ones.  Do you remember the time you auditioned for a part in “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown?” You were only 7 years old and you panicked and ran off the stage. Mom insisted that you get back up there and sing the “Raindrops on Roses” song. You did it and went on to do the play and even joined the church choir. That scary moment will stay with you but it’s there to remind you that you can conquer your fears. You will have other performances and ultimately will learn to be comfortable speaking to groups of people.

As you grow, you will have many decisions to make but don’t worry – you mostly make good ones, like knowing when to buy a house or invest in the stock market. At this age, I would caution you to avoid playing in dangerous places like storm drains or caves as you are known to do. And later, don’t experiment with drinking alcohol or taking drugs. This path will not serve you well. Keep your mind and body healthy and strong. And be sure to remember this word: Endometriosis. Look it up when you start having unexplained belly pain.

Your future is bright. You will make it through college, get married to a wonderful man and find success in many different careers. The most rewarding job of all will be when you become a mom. The love you share with your children is indescribable. It won’t always be easy, though. Seek out friendships with other parents so you don’t get overwhelmed, and occasionally take time for yourself.

The mistakes you’ll make will strengthen your resolve so you will learn to trust what is right for you. Stay true to your heart and if it feels wrong, don’t do it. If you have a problem with someone, work it out or, if that is not possible, invite them to leave your circle. Learn to embrace the people who do care for and respect you. They are your support structure, your calm in the storm.  

You will find great reward in being of service to others and witness incredible acts of kindness. Develop empathy by listening more than you speak. During your lifetime, you will feel great joy but also deep sorrow and loss. Ask the universe for help when you need it.

You’ll travel to many exciting places and be amazed by the beauty you find. Soak it in.  A simple sunset or starry sky can do wonders if you stop to gaze. Animals and plants will become an important part of your life. Take time to sit in nature and make them part of your home and garden.

I have so much more to tell you, like to not worry about Y2K, but I will leave it here.  Don’t ever lose your zest for life. Know that we turned out okay.

Susan Bolan
susanbolan710@gmail.com