Question: I am looking to find some new patterns in my life. I kind of feel disconnected to community. I don’t belong to any groups nor do I regularly attend church. Any thoughts in taking baby steps to explore how I can find myself and be more spiritual and connected to a higher power? Feeling Lost

Dear Feeling Lost, 

I have been in a similar situation at times in my life; it is not an easy place to be … but a wonderful place to begin. 

I appreciate that you want to go slowly; I have found it to be the best way. I can only share my experience with you.   

Most of my life I had been told to limit my understanding of God to one idea, one church, one religion. I feel a lot freer now to be aware of God involved in all of life. What helped me was to explore groups and spiritualities that offer hope and an understanding of God as loving and wonderfully inclusive. It was also important for me to find a community that when I first visited it I was welcomed as I am.

This may take time, but is worth it. Also, many people have found spirituality in groups such as 12 Step groups and other support groups. My prayer for you is to find a place that honors you as a beloved child of God and that you will be in a community of love. 

Please check back and let me know how it goes. You are loved more than you can ask for or imagine.

Reverend Dina Fulgoni
St. Luke’s of the Mountains

Dear Feeling Lost, 

Well, those are sort of two different questions – finding your tribe and growing your spiritual life. They’re not mutually exclusive, of course, but I’ll take them one at a time.

It’s a challenge to make friends and connect with others as an adult. One baby step might be finding an interest group online, through Facebook or MeetUp. Another might be to go to a place of interest – like a gardening store or a museum – and see what classes, groups and events they may offer. Finally, it’s worth a try to look up old friends and reconnect – they might be looking for adult friends, too.

Spiritual life is easier by comparison. You only need three things: holy time, holy space and holy action. Set aside a regular daily time and choose a place that has spiritual energy for you, which you can access without interference or interruption. Then choose what you’ll do: Praying, meditating, spiritual reading, sitting in silence. Or do something active: Talk to God while running or doing dishes; volunteer to help or serve others.

You know that if you ask a priest this question I’m going to suggest that church offers both community and spiritual growth. If you want to try it, search online first but then you really have to visit in person – at least twice in case the first time you go is a one-off bad day. If the church is a good fit, you’ve solved both problems at once!

Rev. Amy Pringle
St. George’s Episcopal Church