Question: I’m finding it hard to forgive these days. Have you any guidance on forgiving in a time people are being so cruel?
Difficult Time

Answer: 

Dear Difficult Time,

I can truly relate to feeling anguish and frustration during these polarized times. It is truly heartbreaking to witness the level of inhumanity being displayed across our country.  

However, as I advocate for marginalized communities I also pray for those of God’s children who are lost in the wilderness and being driven by fear. I try to have compassion and pray that their fear may be transformed into mercy, compassion and love for all of our neighbors. 

Forgiving does not mean we don’t have expectations for better behavior.  Forgiving is an aspect of love and God’s grace is extended to everyone as is redemption. I pray that you can work through forgiving as we all are forgiven by God.   

I hope these thoughts will help you in recognizing we don’t need to fight hate with more hate or more fear. What we need truly is love. 

The Rev Guy Leemhuis, Vicar
St. Luke’s of the Mountains

Dear Difficult Time,

I feel like I can relate to your struggle. This is a hard time for us as people of faith who feel called to forgive, but continue to be hurt. I ask myself, “What can I do?” For me forgiveness is not saying, “It’s okay that you hurt me, I will let this pass…” I believe we are all children of God and abuse is beyond unacceptable.     

I had to ask myself, “So what does forgiveness mean?” For me I have come to believe forgiveness is a process – not an event. I begin by recognizing my pain and how hurting another person, like me and everyone else, is never okay. Then I talk to my Higher Power telling God exactly how I feel and all of the anger I feel. 

I may also talk with a trusted friend who I know struggles with these issues. I then commit myself to treat that person/persons with love. Love to me is a verb not a feeling. Sometimes all I can do is just give that pain to God and make an effort to not hurt that person – or anyone else – in this.  

My friend, this is very hard but the most important person you need to be kind to is yourself.

Reverend Dina Fulgoni
St. Luke’s of the Mountains