Question: I have friends who complain and pick apart almost everything they are involved in … with other friends or when they go on an outing or read a book or hear the news. It wears me out.  

How to I handle this without seeming like I’m also complaining along with them?

Don’t Want To Listen To It Anymore

Answer: Dear Don’t Want To Listen To It Anymore,

I understand what you are saying. Complaining is insidious and habit-forming. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are doing it or are participating in the group mentality of complaining. And, of course, there is a lot to complain about with what’s going on in the world today. There’s a lot of fear and worry, and complaining seemingly helps people feel like they are doing something about solving any problems.

How about having a sit down to talk about the scientific evidence of what complaining does to you and your body? Complaining defines your identity. You become a victim of life’s circumstances. Your negative words train your brain. They affect your body energy … and the energy of those around you and consequently the energy of the world.  

Venting and complaining creates hormones that damage the body. You have a feeling of loss of control and power. There is trauma bonding with venting and complaining. It keeps the story going and it defines your life.

Do you want to feel that way? Do you want to live that way? Do you want to give your power of Self away? Do you want to harm your body?

Instead, why not take a breath to give yourSelf space and step back from the situation? Think of something to be grateful for about this person or situation. Think of something humorous about the person or situation.

In The Science of Mind philosophy, we believe and know we have the power of choice. Do we choose to complain? Or do we choose compassion, lovingkindness, mindfulness and peace. Do we realize that others also have choice and we don’t always agree with each other? But/and if we come from the grounding space of loving unconditionally, and gratitude for learning from others, we can create an environment that makes the world a better place. It is within our power to make that happen.

Don’t let complaining control your best Self and your life.

I’m not complaining any more … how bout you?

Blessings and peace,

Laney Clevenger, RScP Emeritus
CSL La Crescenta