By Robin GOLDSWORTHY

“Modus vivendi” is one of the many mottos that Al N. lives by.

“It’s a new way of living, of choosing your life,” he said.

He attributes that – and the many tenets he’s learned over the years – as part of his time with Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA).

It was 37 years ago that Al attended his first ACA meeting. It was at the suggestion of a girlfriend – she has long since exited his life – that he attend a meeting that he describes as being for those not comfortable with spiritual structure but need spiritual help.

According to its literature, ACA is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of men and women who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. Al is quick to point out, though, that the self-run organization is not part of a church and is not a religious organization. It’s a place where grown-ups can talk about what they experienced as kids, the sometimes damaging things that kids bring into their adult life that need to be reconciled. It’s a safe place where that can be done.

A new chapter of ACA begins on Feb. 27 at 7 p.m. in the Fireside Room at La Crescenta Presbyterian Church. Al said that during the pandemic, chapters attempted to meet virtually; however, meeting in person, he thinks, is “very powerful.”

“There’s something about looking someone in the eye,” he said about the healing process.

He relayed his first meeting.

“It freaked me out,” he recalled with a laugh. But he returned and, over time, learned the power of recovery available through sharing with others, of hearing their stories and being heard. The process of learning that there are people who have similar stories, who don’t want to judge or “fix” others and who only want to help was appealing to Al.

He said that the meetings are not intimidating. People sit in a circle (it’s easier to interact that way). Introductions are made (first name and last initial only). Many times newcomers won’t say anything but instead will just absorb the information and stories that are shared.

Al said one of the benefits he’s learned over the years is when he’s helping someone else, he helps himself. ACA gives him the confidence and ability to help others as they go through the journey of healing.

“It’s about asking yourself, ‘Are you operating okay or do you want something better?’” he said about the reasons for attending ACA meetings. “It’s a way to be more happy, more relaxed.”

He advised meeting attendance as the first step in moving forward in the healing journey to “express – not repress.”

“It will be the first day of the ‘best’ of your life,” he added with a smile.

La Crescenta Presbyterian Church is located at 2902 Montrose Ave. in La Crescenta. For more information, visit www.adultchildren.org or email info@acawso.org.