What Is Elder Abuse?

Dear Phyllis,
Three years ago, my sister moved in with my parents to their four-bedroom home in Tustin. She brought her large mixed-breed dog, which has caused considerable damage.

Recently, I discovered that my parents took out a $700,000 loan. Part of the money was used to build a one-bedroom guest house for my sister. However, since the house already has four bedrooms, I don’t see why
it was necessary. I also doubt the guest house cost $700,000 to build. The rest of the money is
unaccounted for.

Although my father is retired with a good pension and both of my parents receive Social Security, the loan and home maintenance have become a financial burden. Unfortunately, my sister and I have not spoken since she moved in. She also leaves whenever I visit. My father often seems confused, and when I ask my mother
questions, she avoids giving clear answers. Despite this, she and I have discussed moving them into senior living, which she agrees would be best. We found a great option near my family in Glendale, and I keep encouraging her to get on the waiting list and put their home on the market.

However, my sister has a strong influence over my parents and appears to prioritize her own interests. I only want what is best for them. I would appreciate any guidance you can offer. Concerned Daughter

Dear Concerned Daughter,
I’m sorry you’re facing such a difficult and frustrating situation. The simplest solution would be to hold a family meeting—if your sister is willing to cooperate. However, based on what you’ve described, that seems unlikely.

It’s clear that your mother understands what is best for her and your father, but your sister seems to have an undue influence over them. From your account, it does not appear that she is prioritizing their well-
being, but rather her own.

I wish I had a simple solution, but you may need to seek legal assistance. In your case, financial abuse may be a concern if your sister has influenced your parents into taking out a large loan that does not seem to benefit them. Since your father appears confused, and your mother avoids answering your questions, there may also
be emotional manipulation at play.

If you suspect elder abuse, consulting an attorney who specializes in elder law could help you protect your parent’s rights and well-being. I wish you all the best of luck.
Phyllis