Question: Even if you keep your young kids away from social media and the news, information can still filter through. How do you talk to young kids about the violence and hatred in the world? Concerned Parent

Dear Concerned Parent,

First of all, as parents, grandparents, teachers and mentors, we need to accept that we cannot shield our children from much of the tragic news of the world. We can’t keep them from disappointment or heartbreak, from friends dying in school shootings, or from the war torn state of the world. Our best defense is a strong offense! A spiritual offense uses the tools of love, peace, inclusivity, patience and oneness as our weapons. 

The history lesson that we must convey to our young ones is that the only way hate can grow is if we feed it with more hate. This reminds me of the story of the Native American chief who sat with his grandson and told him of the battle that goes on within people – the battle between two wolves. The first wolf is filled with hatred, anger evil and greed. The second wolf is filled with love, hope, peace, kindness and compassion. The grandson asked him, “Who wins the battle?” The grandfather replied, “The one you feed.” 

Teaching our children that they do have some control over their lives, and the wellbeing of the world, begins with teaching them that where they invest their focus and energy is what will spring forth as their reality. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King

Jr. said, “Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” Our children can be beacons of light in this world. Even a single candle can light up a room. Reinforcing their own power for good and their ability to be the change they want to see in the world while modeling for them that we are all one people eliminates the whole idea of “enemies,” which counts on the “us or them” mentality. Because we have free will, there may always be some who choose to hate. Letting our kids know that love is the most powerful force in the universe, and teaching them that they can

use it for good, is the key to changing the world we all live in.

Rev. Karen Mitchell, CsM

Dear Concerned Parent,

For young children, conversations about political violence should be kept simple, age-appropriate and focused on safety. Parents and caregivers should ask children what they know and feel, reassure them, limit media exposure and highlight positive actions from “helpers.”

Before you talk

• Process your own emotions. Children often take emotional cues from the adults around them. Before talking with a child, give yourself time to process your feelings about the event so you can have a calm, reassuring conversation.
• Prepare a simple explanation. For preschoolers, a minimal, factual statement can provide necessary context without overwhelming them. For example, “Sometimes when adults are angry or disagree, they make bad choices and hurt people, but many grown-ups are working to make things safe again.”
• Limit media exposure. Younger children may not distinguish between news images on a screen and their own personal reality. Turn off or limit news coverage to prevent repeated exposure to frightening images. If possible, watch news privately on your own device. 

During the conversation

• Start by asking what they know. Begin with open-ended questions like, “What have you heard or seen about this?” or “What are your friends saying?” This helps you correct misinformation and understand their specific fears.
• Keep it simple and focused on safety. Young children primarily need reassurance that they are safe. Speak in calm, age-appropriate language and avoid excessive or graphic details. You might say, “That happened far away, and you are safe here with me and our family.”
• Validate their feelings. If a child expresses fear, anger or sadness, acknowledge his/her feelings by saying things like, “It’s normal to feel scared when you see or hear things like that.” Avoid minimizing their concerns and reassure them that their emotions are valid.
• Emphasize positive actions. Counteract the negativity by pointing out the “helpers” –first responders, doctors and other community members who are assisting people. This can give children a sense of hope and security.
• Use analogies and play. For very young children who have trouble with words, storytelling, drawing or role-playing with toys can be effective ways to help them process their feelings.
• Keep it positive at the end. Wrap up the conversation on a reassuring note. If it’s near bedtime, transition to a comforting activity like reading their favorite book. 

After the conversation

• Maintain routines. Regular schedules for meals, school and bedtime create a sense of stability and normalcy that is especially comforting during times of stress.
• Continue checking in. Let your child know they can come to you anytime they have more questions or worries. Check in periodically with casual, open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling today?”
• Watch for signs of distress. Pay attention to changes in behavior, such as clinginess, sleep disturbances or a regression to earlier behaviors like thumb-sucking.
• Consider positive action. If age-appropriate, involve your child in a small, positive activity like making cards for community helpers or donating to a relevant cause. Taking action can help them feel empowered rather than helpless.
• Know when to seek help. If your child’s anxiety or behavioral changes persist for more than a few weeks or if their reactions feel severe consider contacting a mental health professional or your faith leader for more resources.

Rev. Guy Leemhuis, Vicar
St. Luke’s of the Mountains