By Mary O’KEEFE

Sunday is Mother’s Day. It can be a bittersweet day for me. I am a mom and grandma, so there is that side of Mother’s Day, but I am also a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, cousin … and friend. As I age I find myself more reflective, and probably because of my Irish American upbringing, I am more melancholy … if that is possible. Mother’s Day, for me, is a time to reflect on those who have mothered me and shaped my life. My own mom (of course) and my grandma who lived with us influenced how I saw the world and taught me that I need to treat others the way I want to be treated. But I was also fortunate to have so many strong women who supported me. In fact when I meditate, these women – all who have longed passed – are the ones I call to encircle me and support me. 

That is what motherhood is … support that lasts beyond “the veil” of death. My mom and I had a rocky past, like many mother-daughter duos, but when I needed her she was there. Mom was a bit of a witch; she had a direct line to my soul and could tell when there was something wrong. She would call me when I was most fearful and was able to lift me out. 

My grandma was even more intuitive. She had glaucoma from the time I was born and was steadily losing her sight – but she could see me clearer than anyone else. My aunt taught me that being judgmental about others reflected more on how I felt about myself than how I felt about those I judged. She also taught me that it was okay to believe in magic no matter how old you were. A cousin of my grandma’s taught me that speaking up was the best way to help others. My great-grandma taught me that family was everything.

I hope that I have passed these mothering tips on to my kids and grandkids. When I would have afternoon tea with my kids, and now with my grandkids, these mothering figures were always part of the conversation. It is important for my grandkids to know the strength and love of these women who continue to support me and will always be there for them, too.

According to the Smithsonian American Women’s History Museum, Mother’s Day in the U.S. is traced back to Julia Ward Howe, the author of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.” She was an abolitionist, a women’s rights advocate and a peace activist in the 1870s. During this time the Civil War had ended but the aftermath was everywhere, and the Franco-Prussian War was just beginning abroad. It was these events that inspired Howe to issue the “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” originally titled “Appeal to womanhood throughout the world.” Howe urged the creation of an international body of women who could find ways to avoid war and bloodshed:  

“I earnestly ask that a general congress of women, without limit of nationality, may be appointed … to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.”  

Remember, this was a woman fighting for this in the 1800s, although it does seem very much like pleas heard throughout history and even today. 

Nothing came of her proposal, of course; she then sought to establish an annual Mother’s Day for Peace to be celebrated in June. That occurred in a few places but did not catch on. 

Mother’s Day that we celebrate today is rooted  in the work of Ann Jarvis and her daughter Anna, who established a holiday to honor her mother Ann. Again, the root of this holiday was to honor a woman who had faced tragedy and decided to help others. Jarvis had more than a dozen children though most died from diseases like measles and diphtheria. She worked hard to educate the community to try to help others and families to avoid the tragedies she had suffered. She organized “Mother’s Work Clubs” and promoted special “Mother’s Work Days” when women would collaboratively collect trash and undertake other projects to improve local environmental conditions and their neighbors’ understanding of hygiene. 

The Civil War affected Jarvis as well, seeing neighbor turn against neighbor; she organized women’s groups with moms of both Confederate and Union troops who were sick or wounded. This way of thinking was not always accepted but, despite threats of violence against her and others in the club, she organized a “Mother’s Friendship Day” in an effort to bring both sides of the war together to create a sense of community, according to the Smithsonian.

There is something very comforting, and empowering, knowing that Mother’s Day honors mothers and goes far beyond the giving of flowers and enjoying a nice brunch with mom. It was established by women who understood that mothering comes from a strong foundation of women who put others first, who saw what violence could do to a community – to a society – then stood up to do something about it. 

Today will be warm – near 80 degrees – and then temperatures will steadily climb through Tuesday. According to NOAA, we should be at least 15 degrees above normal, even 20 degrees higher in some areas. On Sunday and Monday, temperatures will be in the mid to upper 80s/low 90s with even a possibility of near 100 degrees in areas like Van Nuys. 

There are no strong Santa Ana conditions or rain in the future.