Question: I am very concerned about the state of world right now! Not only does the news seem to sensationalize the issues – crimes, robberies, murders and more – but in my own life I notice when I go to the grocery store people are just not as friendly as they used to be. When I say hello to strangers now they seem to recoil like I’ve done something terrible. It makes me not want to go out and converse with anyone. 

I am older and have been through many challenges, yet I always seemed to rise above them with the help of friends. We all pulled together. Now even my friends are critical and wary of everyone and flat-out are unwilling to budge from their opinions. I’m not trying to pretend all is well with the world but how can I stay positive while all this unhappiness and unfriendliness bombards me daily? I want to keep my pleasant attitude and create good for myself and those I encounter. Any suggestions? 

~ Fearful

Answer: Dear Fearful,

I’m sorry you are experiencing such fear and anxiety and I appreciate that you are reaching out for advice. Dealing with a world that feels unsafe, people who are distant and friends that are critical is never easy, and seems to be keeping you from enjoying life. 

There is an expression in the Bible, “It came to pass,” meaning some things come to show us areas where we need to grow and then move on. Fear can be very useful because it shows us that there is something to learn. But when fear and anxiety remain a permanent state of mind and we allow it to take control of our life, it becomes damaging rather than serving our good. 

There is a difference between having an emotion and when an emotion has you. When we feel fear it’s important to ask ourselves what we need to learn from it. If we follow its lead, take constructive steps and make healthy decisions because of it, we will move through the emotion. If we don’t, that emotion begins to take control of our thinking and inhibit us, changing our natural response to life. 

I would suggest to pray, focus on the positive, take action and follow your intuitive guidance. Pray believing that the solution is at hand. The energy from which we pray has a direct effect on the result of the prayer. In prayer we are not convincing God of anything. God already sees us as perfect, whole and complete. Prayer reconditions the mind of the one praying. It releases our thought from the problem and troubled state of mind we’re in. We must be willing to release the problem to God and allow answers to flow into our lives. 

Ask yourself what positive things can be learned from your current experience. What we focus on expands. Where we put our attention becomes prominent in our actions and reactions because that’s where we have put all our energy. When you shift the focus to what is working instead of what is not, the circumstances will shift – but not without action. 

Get moving! Take a walk! Get out in the sunshine! It can do wonders for resetting your mind. Make a committed effort to see good everywhere, to give and to forgive daily. When your friends become critical, let them know how you feel. Open a dialogue to create an atmosphere of mutual respect. Tell them how much they mean to you and how you value their friendship. Sometimes people get stuck in a mindset or mood and become oblivious to how they are behaving towards others. You can be the gentle reminder that brings them back to their senses.

Most importantly, take your mind off the problem and put your mind on God. Instead of listening to all the negativity that is going on, listen to the good news and messages that are inspiring. Invite your friends to come over and watch a comedy. Go to dinner and make the rule that you can only speak of uplifting things. That doesn’t mean you ignore challenges you may be facing but put a positive spin on it all. Ask what good comes from your current experiences. Whatever it takes to uplift your spirits and switch the channel in your mind from feeling fearful to feeling in charge of your life – do it. 

I trust you find inspiration in these words and relief from fear and begin to enjoy your life to the fullest once again.

In Light,

Rev. Mary Morgan
Center for Spiritual Living-La Crescenta