The Family We Choose 

The holidays are a wonderful reminder of how special families are.

Two of our sons are in North Carolina and we didn’t spend the holidays with either of them. Work beckoned and, as it turned out given the airport delays, it was probably a good thing that we didn’t try to get them home for the holidays. FaceTime, as it turned out, is a wonderful thing. Though we were apart we were able to watch them open their gifts from us, seeing the delight on their faces. We also were able to watch our granddaughter open her presents.

Because so many of our family members were away and due to miscellaneous medical ailments, Christmas dinner at our house was a much more modest affair. Our son Danny, his wife and mother-in-law, and my friend Amy were the only ones who joined Steve and me around our table. And to be honest, that was okay. We were all relaxed and able to enjoy each other’s company, spending quality  – and quantity – time with each other without hurrying about worrying that not everyone had everything they wanted.

The holidays can also be a painful reminder of how fractured traditional families are. I’m aware of families – several as a matter of fact – who are in turmoil. For one reason or another there is tension and family members are ill at ease when they’re together – if they get together. While we try to focus on the positive aspects of being a family the truth is that sometimes the best we can hope for is being polite to each other, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If we have to be in a room together, why not just be polite?

Which leads me to an epiphany: while we cannot choose the family into which we’re born, we can build a family that we choose to be around. Maybe the perfect “family” is one that challenges a person’s intellect; maybe it’s one whose members are accepting and loving no matter the circumstances; maybe it’s one that saves a spot for you on the couch to watch a game. Whatever that perfect combination is, those who find it and are able to pursue it are truly fortunate.

As we move toward 2022 (and, lord, it has to be better than 2021 and 2020) maybe the best we can hope for when we get together with our family (and we need to get together at least occasionally) is to be polite. And when we get together with folks who are like our family we can let our hair down and relax!

Happy New Year and thank you to everyone who supported me and the CV Weekly.

________________________________

CV Weekly has enjoyed some very generous gifts this holiday season and I have tried to thank everyone who has been so very kind to us. But one gift basket arrived from Hickory Farms that had no identification of the gift-giver. Whoever sent it – thank you; the goodies were gratefully accepted and are being enjoyed.