Crazy Clowns (and I don’t mean our Presidential Candidates)
Without a doubt we are living in bizarre times. In addition to an election cycle that has most shaking their heads (at least it’s fodder for late night TV – did you catch the SNL opener on Saturday?), “crazy clowns” have been sighted throughout the country.
Beginning several weeks ago, creepy clowns were reported across the nation hanging around schools with some supposedly attempting to lure young children into nearby woods. In Winston-Salem, North Carolina, police have responded to several reports of clown sightings, including one of a man wielding a machete chasing a clown, but so far haven’t been able to substantiate any of the reports. A man was arrested for making a false report, though, saying a clown knocked on his window and that the resident chased him into some nearby woods. The resident later admitted to making up the whole thing.
Earlier this week, a woman in Ohio blamed an attack by a knife-wielding clown for being late to work. Yes, she admitted later that she was lying.
Rumors are now circulating that women wearing too much makeup have been killed by concerned citizens thinking that they are “killer clowns.” Those rumors have also proven to be untrue.
But despite the majority of reports being false, police are tired of the “clowning around.”
According to a Mississippi newspaper, Tchula police chief Kenneth Hampton posted a warning on Facebook after he saw someone walking around in a mask, multicolored wig and overalls as he patrolled town, according to the Clarion-Ledger in Jackson, Mississippi. He told the newspaper he figured it was a gag, but he was concerned because the person was carrying something that looked like a machete or sword.
“Whoever you are running around in Tchula wearing a clown suit, waving a sword and scaring the hell out of people, let me give you some advice. STOP IT!!!!” Hampton wrote on Facebook. “Because if I roll up on you and you wave that damn sword at me, IT’S GAME OVER SON!!! I’m gonna teacha how da duggy!!!”
The creepy clown trend has caused “true clowns” to defend themselves.
“All the time and energy and effort we put into being good clowns, and to see someone like that do crazy things is just a shame,” Charles “Andy” Anderson told Lauren Zakalik of WFAA television. Anderson is also known as Smiley the Clown.
The veteran clown said he’ll continue clowning, knowing he’s doing the right thing.
Just this week on one foothill Facebook site, there was a posting of sightings of clowns in the Glendale area reportedly at John Burroughs, Burbank and Glendale high schools.
“Hopefully CVHS isn’t next,” the woman wrote.
Of course, some are preparing for a clown invasion. I particularly like the advice of one person responding to the reports of multiple clown attacks.
“I know what I will do if attacked by a bunch of clowns,” wrote a respondent to the Herald story. “Go for the juggler…”